It is clear that in a short article you will not give a recipe for all occasions, but you can set the direction. And I want to note that if you at least partially solve these problems, it will improve not only your relationship, but your whole life as a whole. After all, they all determine the quality of life.
So, in order:
Competition with a partner and the desire to assert himself at his expense are usually associated with unstable self-esteem and possibly a lack of healthy self-realization. Hence, one has to work with it. I talk about this in more detail in the articles:
Do you need yourself? Self-esteem and freedom of choice
Purpose, vocation, talent. How to realize yourself?
Inability or unwillingness to cooperate may be associated with the following problems – you have not matured psychologically, are afraid of intimacy, or you do not have your own goals. Often these are related things. Read about it in the articles:
Fear of intimacy – why can’t we and don’t want to understand each other?
What are life values and why do you need them?
Perceiving a partner as an enemy may indicate problems with basic trust in the world. Such trust is laid in childhood and, unfortunately, if it does not exist, then it will no longer exist. But it is quite possible to mitigate mistrust with the help of psychological methods, thanks to which you can live a fulfilling life and build harmonious relationships. Articles:
Formation of personality from the point of view of prenatal psychology
How to become a happy person and be one every day?
If you believe that the most important thing is to insist on your own, it can also speak of problems with self-esteem and general rigidity of character, inability to be flexible. Read the articles:
How can important values in life become our enemies?
Women’s self-esteem and its impact on relationships
Resentment, dissatisfaction, and guilt are feelings that also speak of a child’s condition. Apparently it’s time to grow up. I’m talking about this here:
What does it mean to be an adult, why is it necessary and why is it so difficult?
How to develop the adult part of your personality
Inability to speak about your desires and the inability to defend your opinion and state your needs – most likely, you have problems with self-love. Also related to self-esteem. Read the articles:
Do you need to learn to love yourself?
How to learn to conflict constructively?
- This is not easy if you are used to arguing rather than seeking a solution. But you can gradually learn this. To do this, try:
listen to each other
- communicate your position as clearly as possible
- talk about yourself and your feelings, and not blame and criticize but do not get emotional so that your partner can understand you
- turn the partner to the position of cooperation “let’s try to figure it out together”
- develop self-sufficiency and self-love – then it will be easy for you to take a position of cooperation when you are interested in the benefits of both – you and your partner. develop an adult personality state, awareness, improve self-esteem.
Is it possible not to quarrel at all?
It is better not to set the goal “never to quarrel”, it is initially a failure. Anyway, at some point, it will coincide so that you and your partner will be in a bad mood, awareness will fall and you will quarrel. And it’s okay, anything can happen, the main thing is not to blame yourself and continue to build relationships. Fighting less is a good goal.
To do this, you need to resolve conflicts not through struggle, avoidance, accommodation or compromise, but through cooperation, where you come together to solve a problem, instead of fighting each other.
Disagreements, clashes of interests – this is another proof that we are different, unique and alive. And when you learn to accept this difference in yourself and others, instead of re-educating, conflicts will stop destroying your life, but will begin to strengthen family closeness and brighten relationships.