Imagine a family where a woman is not very economical, and a man is homely. Will they complement each other or annoy each other with their dissimilarity? Say, a man will be angry that a woman is not cleaning, but she will consider him a primitive nit-pick?
And if the opposite? Both are housekeepers, they know how to handle things, they like to clean. And now they have a super house together, cozy and thoughtful. Or is it, on the contrary, not good – they will only think about everyday life, and there will not be enough time and attention for other important things?
What’s more important? Complement each other or be on the same wavelength? Balance or resemble?
A partner who is not like us in character, habits and perception of the world can provoke irritation. And at the same time, real treasures are hidden in the dissimilarity, which you just need to learn to find. Let’s see which ones.
Four main roles in family relationships
The family is, in a sense, a project. And this project has functions or roles.
The first role is to produce the result
These are our actions. We have planned something and are moving towards it. Any goal – to buy a car, go on vacation, move to a new house – someone achieves, someone solves the problem. Someone makes sure that the family moves in the right direction.
The second role is administration
Any family has rules: who does what, who does not do what, what mode of rest and work, nutrition, life in general. The administrator monitors compliance with the rules and plans, organizes, checks, reminds of them. He also puts things in order.
The third role is entrepreneurship
This person is responsible for novelty. It helps not to lose the spark of the relationship and interest in life. He creates new ideas. “Let’s fly here, let’s go here, let’s buy this, and let’s try this again, do this and that.”
The fourth role is integration
Integration is unity, cohesion. Closeness and understanding is important for all family members, but there are people who know how to create and maintain it. “Let’s join hands, let’s talk, and let’s talk, let’s be together.”
This is the person who is responsible for intimacy in a relationship. He makes sure that there is soulfulness, time together, conversations in which you share something important.
Why are all four roles important?
So there are four roles: production, administration, entrepreneurship, and integration. And it is important that all of them are present in the family. Because if one of them is missing, problems begin.
If there is no production of the result, but there is administration, integration and planning – the family is marking time, nothing happens. If this function does not work, we dream, we want, but we never get anything.
No administration – chaos begins. All the time they come up with something and, perhaps, even do it. But why is not clear, and it is completely incomprehensible where all this is going. There is no order. When there is no order, it is not clear who is responsible for what, who buys what, where we are going. You can live this way only at the beginning of a relationship, when you just met, you are two young students, you study, have fun, enjoy life, there is no administration and no need for it.
If there is only administration, entrepreneurship and production, but there is no integration, there is a distance between people, there is no intimacy and mutual understanding. It turns out not a family, but a business project.
If no one plays the role of an entrepreneur, the family can be effective, there can be order in it, but there is no joy. The couple sets and achieves the goal, but everything has become a routine. Even closeness. Entrepreneurship helps this routine to cheer up, to do something new, unusual, adds brightness and energy to life.