It doesn’t matter what kind of person you are, what you dream about and where you are striving, the ultimate goal of each of us is happiness. But there is always something that separates us from this one dream, and this is “something” – we ourselves, or rather, our limitations, which have been building around for years, and like concrete walls fencing us off a happy life.
Let’s take another look at what happiness is. In my opinion, happiness is a skill. This is the ability to get joy from little things, enjoy the moments, find positive in everything, harmoniously achieve your goals, balance your emotional state, the ability to feel needed and receive recognition.
It is also a balance between the ability to appreciate what you have and the desire to achieve more.
All these qualities can be cultivated in oneself. Life, of course, and so constantly teaches us and makes us change, but in order to develop faster, and most importantly, in the right direction, it makes sense to use psychological techniques.
How do you become happy? 20 things to let go of to be happy
1. The approval of others,
Who cares about who thinks of them? If you are happy with the decisions you make, that is the right choice, no matter what others say. Think about how much you will get if you stop constantly looking at other people, wondering if they like your decision or not. In addition, half of the time you do not guess what people really think of you, is it worth it to try? Forget about it – and you will be happy.
2. Anger and resentment
Anger eats away at you on the inside, so learn to put up with those who piss you off. This does not mean that you can let others take advantage of you in order to only avoid a scandal, you just need to learn how to cope with anger and resentment, with the pain that remains inside. Remember that whoever makes you angry controls you.
3. Ideal body image
How often do you get led by tips from the beauty industry, the opinions of your relatives and friends? Your body is the little that really belongs to you, and who, if not you, decides how it should look? The only thing that matters is how you feel. Comfortable or not, the rest is decay.
It is also important not to forget about your own rules for a happy life. No psychologist knows you better than you yourself.
4. The image of the ideal partner
There is no perfect partner, don’t even hope. Each of us has an ideal image or at least a set of exemplary qualities that a person should correspond to, but life usually spits on these lists and laughs at them.
What qualities should a partner have in order for you to be happy? They are the same for all people: you must love him with all your heart, feel easy and comfortable with him, and he must also accept you for who you are.
If you have the first two points, great, you’ve found what you need. It remains to cultivate the last point in yourself.
A happy life begins with understanding your true self and with his control.
5. Ideal life
Just like there is no perfect partner, there is no perfect life. Life is what you put into it. If you are not willing to work seriously and make the effort, then you are choosing to be unhappy. The choices you make directly affect the way your life goes.
You can create your own world, the most beautiful of all worlds. If you get rid of the pattern “how it should be” and enjoy the way it is, then you can accidentally become happy.
6. You are about to get rich
Many people live their entire lives with the idea that they should become millionaires. While this is (in essence) a good goal, it takes a lot of work. Besides, you don’t have to make money an end in itself, you won’t swim in it like Scrooge.
The main thing is to find a job that will become your passion, and self-actualize, and then the money will come (of course, if you do not feel disgust towards them).
Always plan a better life for yourself and you will see how things and events around you are changing miraculously right now.
7. The idea that fortune will turn to face you
You should not wait for Lady Luck to knock on your door, although this can happen at any time. Appreciate the life you have and be grateful for what you have. Luck will never come if you expect it.
“Start thanking God for what you have and he will give you what you lack.”
No time for excuses. Forget what “no time” is, there is only “no desire”.
Excuses are just your trying not to feel so shit when you don’t do something that should have been done long ago.
9. Thoughts on the ex
You broke up because of something, there was a reason for it anyway. When remembering your exes, think not about the person, but only about the lessons life has given you, about what you learned from this person. Do not get stuck on feelings for a person who will never be with you – this will only destroy a new relationship and make you suffer.
It’s hard to admit that you were wrong about something. It’s just that other people had more knowledge or ability to do something right. So stop being stubborn, just take it for granted. The less stubbornness you have, the more open you are to something new.
Think about how much you can experience and feel if you try to understand and accept someone’s opinion other than your own.
For those who do not know, procrastination is in psychology the tendency to constantly postpone even important and urgent matters, leading to life problems and painful psychological effects.
Stop procrastinating, it’s time to hatch.
Stop procrastinating until tomorrow, live in today. If you are constantly putting off something, think about whether it is worth doing it at all? Maybe you don’t really need it at all? And if necessary, then do it now: constant postponement for tomorrow only provides you with guilt and stress. Is it worth it to suffer like this?
12. Baggage of memories
You should not drag along the baggage of memories, especially about past relationships. If you loved someone very much or thought you loved, you will subconsciously compare, impose a projection on a new person who is not guilty of anything.
When starting new relationships, get rid of old ones, and not only in life, but also in your head. And this is true not only for falling in love, but also for all relationships in general: with friends, employees, bosses, etc.
Everything that comes from your head in the form of thoughts and words comes back in the form of reality. So change your attitude to “everything will be fine.” Nothing is impossible for a person who believes in it.
14. Don’t judge anyone
Why is it so important for everyone what happens to others? We spend so much time discussing and judging other people, and they are us.
Since the world is a projection of our thoughts, we know for sure that everyone condemns us (because they themselves do it). Vicious circle: you cannot follow advice # 1, that is, not think about what people think of you, if you yourself do not stop judging other people.
Happiness is not about having what you want, but about wanting what you have. Next time you get jealous, think about this: “Would I like to be the person I envy?” Probably not, you love yourself (even if somewhere very deeply).
In general, stop looking at others, if you feel good now, then everything is right, if not, then do it so that it is good.
Happy people tend to have self-esteem. Just don’t confuse it with a bloated ego. Happy people are happy with who they are, they radiate confidence, they are not afraid to show their worth.
There is no reason to be insecure, not one. If you have traits that you hate about yourself, there are two ways: accept them or change them. In any case, every person has everything at once: a libertine, and a puritan, and a lying bastard and a correct, free person. You yourself choose who you are, only you, not nature, it has nothing to do with it at all.
17. Depend on someone to be happy
No one, not one person in this life will fill your emptiness, if any. Nobody can make you happy if you are unhappy. To share your happiness with someone else, you must first find this happiness, and then there will be someone else. So do not even hope that your happiness is in the hands of someone, only you.
To live in the past is to bury your present. There were mistakes, okay, who didn’t have them? Arrange a magnificent funeral for your memories, remember only the lessons and move on.
19. Total control
Sometimes you just have to relax and let life go the way it does. You cannot control EVERYTHING, and you have to put up with it. Otherwise, you will be nervous and furious all the time, and in the end you will still be unable to do anything. There are simply things that are out of your control that need to be accepted as they are.
The main thing is balance. On the one hand, a log that floats with the flow, on the other – an idiot who beats against a blank wall.
If you don’t expect anything, you will never be disappointed.
We often think that if we do this, then other people should do the same. That’s bullshit. Nobody owes you anything, just like you owe nothing. Nobody should be polite, attentive, neat, honest, pleasant to talk to, clean in the end. And neither should you.
And now the most important thing. If you read these 20 points and forget right away, nothing in your life will change. It is not important what information you have, it is important how you know how to use this information. It is not enough just to know, to do!
Re-read these important things periodically so that you do not forget for a day how you need to live in order to be happy. Be happy!